Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
