Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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