I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
