mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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