I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
