the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize