the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize