When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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