great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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