I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
