too bad you live with your parents still
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize