At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
