Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
