it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
