haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
