Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
