I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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