I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
