I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
