Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
