Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize