I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
