I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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