I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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