i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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