Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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