She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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