"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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