Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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