You just made me feel so damn special
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
