thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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