I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
ok first of all what the fuck
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
