In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
