even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
