I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
