eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
