Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
