fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize