if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
