Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
