sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
