Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I love you. Go after that dick
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
