ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
