so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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