The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think I just sharted jello shots
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
