He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
