I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
