I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
