I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize