The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
