I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
