this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
should my penis look like a turkey
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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