I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
