i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
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