Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
