I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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