My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They are going to name an STD after you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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