just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
