And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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