Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
