help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
