the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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