He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
