But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
